train

I could hear it whistling from a distance, as if someone was calling me. I sometimes wanted to run and catch that train and just go… go … go…

“I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

~ Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

That is how I used to feel, for years when I was growing up, in my small Greek island. While the way I was growing, put my “roots”, deep into my home land, in my head dreams and desires were dancing for a different future. I knew in my heart that I had to see the world. Didn’t knew how that could happen, coming from a very poor family, but I had the stronger card of all. I had FAITH. What I didn’t knew back then, is for anything you get in life, there is prize to pay. Nothing is for free!

“Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.”

~ Goethe

I learned that sometimes, life journey can take you to a place that is not on any map. A place that you find out a lot about yourself and who you really are. Beyond obligations, beyond life roles, beyond choices or embarrassment. There is a place within us, which we can see who we really are and what we really need to be truly happy. It can shock you. But it can only happen to you, if you are willing to be open, honest and truthful to yourself.

If you are facing in the right direction, all you need to do is keep on walking. Try not to look back, for a long time. I, what I love the most, I keep it in my heart. My beloved family. But if you want to change your life, you need to look ahead of you and always see ahead of you, the light! You will not find the “light” if you keep looking back. If you keep living in the pass.

At the same time, never leave your values and believes and try to earn more qualities in life, to lead you to a land of true happiness! There you will find wisdom, kindness and joy. Do not use people to get your goals, but make them part of a great cause. We people have the ability to know by heart, when people do like us, do love us or they do using us for their benefits. Most times we do not have any prove, but we just know thing in our hearts. We are made like by nature, to sense the truth sometimes, even though we cannot prove it.

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned,

so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

~ Joseph Campbell

Change happens only through pain and effort. But it is only when we change, we can finally find light and wisdom. Change is hard, painful and not easy. We are creatures of habit. We dream of a change, but when it happens it hurts us tremendously. Is not for everyone and only few can climb certain “mountains”.

Most of us we think that security exist in money, in financial freedom. And I certainly cannot argue with that. There is a great security in financial freedom, BUT we cannot be really secure within ourselves, if we don’t know who we really are. Ask your self, “Am I doing the things I love? Do they know I love them? Am I saying it enough? Is my life worth living it? Do I smile when I wake up in the morning?”

Simple question to know a simple truth.

“Our life is an endless journey; it is like a broad highway that extends infinitely into the distance. The practice of meditation provides a vehicle to travel on that road.

Our journey consists of constant ups and downs.”

~Chogyam Trungpa

When I first left home, and came to live, in a this amazing country of Alaska, during my middle age, it was hard. It was like someone was pulling my heart out. Is not that easy, as it can be at younger age. But no matter how hard it was, deep inside me I knew I had to follow that road. I knew in my heart, that in time I would also find all my answers that would cure my wounds. There was also another part of me that kept me going on. All my life I knew that this day will come, I knew I will fly away. I just knew…

I just hoped that didn’t happen the way it did.

For a long time I felt like, floating into the water of an endless ocean, facing my beautiful shore that I left behind. A world that I could not approach anymore. I was floating softly, like a cloud that fall from the sky, watching silently from a distance. Not able to make any decision, or take any direction just yet. Someone very special to me, once told me. “If you don’t know which direction to take, stay still for a while.” And that is what I did. Until one day, I turn my head and looked on the other side and then I saw the endless ocean, challenging me to explore. I heard whispers coming from under the sea… “Come, come and find out how much more exist! Do not be afraid, come, come…” life whispered to me. I look at the shore one last time and then I dive into the endless sea. She swallowed me with love, like a huge spider swallow her children when she needs to protect them. And she keeps them inside her womb, for as long as she had too. The earth is our mother and has millions of ways to protect her children. It is us we step on her with no care and wisdom most times.

I was no longer the same person after I saw the beauty under my “nose”. I was holding myself away from another treasure, out of fear and habit.

Now I travel in this new world, but I do keep my homeland in my heart and I carry my beloved ones with me. In fact I am closer with them than ever in my heart. At the same time, as I move on, I realize that I cannot go back anymore. I am so far away from the shore now. I am in a different place within myself. A place that I only know few things now. Few but significant. In my previous life, I used to knew a lot – or I thought I did – but not so important. Suddenly everything is so clear from a distance. Suddenly I can separate now, who is real and who is fake. We often use words so irresponsible. We call a friend someone we know. But what is really a friend? A friend is not someone you know. Someone that remembers you once every now and then. Friend is someone that is always there. Especially at hard times. We use the word of “love”, when we desire someone. Love is beyond desire. Love is devotion, deep commitment, under any circumstances. That’s what Love means. In Love you never betray or abandon.

Do not use people, to get to your goals done. People taught me that in life, by using me. Of course it would be a lie if I don’t admit that at times I used people as well. We all do, we never do anything without a motivation. But if we want to earn the quality of wisdom, we need to learn that there is a big different between using people or make them part of a great cause. Share is a better way to make things happen.

I feel that, now my life, somehow is more truthful than any other time of my life. I had to become more honest with my self and other, in order to survive, but also to become who I wanted to be. We are all full of errors, which we need to fix by practicing over and over again. And, we are also gifted in many different ways. Either by nature or by knowledge.

And while is still me, I welcome the new me, that it is now born. And together we are about to find out more about the journey of life. I am on a fast train now, traveling. I am half of the time, hanging out of the window, blow my head out in the air. The wind fast is messing my face, but I am smiling. I am about to find out more and more about this amazing life journey on earth.

It’s the same train, I was hearing when I was a little girl. I just grow up, that’s all. I grow and that can happen only if you we are willing to pay a prize, every and each time we make a life decision. We cannot grow mentally and spiritually without pain.

Catch your train, while you can.

Koula Ro Za

~ Domenica